2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
With that being said, I felt led to share a small struggle that we have currently been dealing with...
To give some background, in public, our little man is typically a very well-mannered child for being almost two. People continually ask me if he is always this good, to which I reply, "Ha! No." He is very observant in new or unfamiliar situations and is great at sitting quietly through church (and usually falls asleep). He has never been aggressive or mean to another child and has often let other children take toys he is playing with without retaliating. At home, he plays well, has learned not to throw toys (for the most part). He gets upset when he doesn't get his way and is disciplined for that. If he gets frustrated with a toy or that a certain car won't fit in a place he wants it to go, he will scream, which is something we are working on as well. He gets into things he shouldn't, tries to collapse on the ground when we are getting into to the car and he wants to stay out and play, along with other typical 2-year-old antics. At this age, I've learned, discipline is hard work. I do my best to be consistent and to figure out what works best for him. Some days it is exhausting. Some days we have a blast most of the day. I try to exaggeratedly praise him when he chooses to do the right thing or chooses to obey when I catch him about to do something he shouldn't. I have been committed to teach my child right and wrong and that our actions have consequences. I don't feel that our routine is much different than that of many other families with almost 2-year-old boys.
Now, the real reason I am writing this is because of a situation that has made me feel completely overwhelmed and helpless in the last few weeks. We have a close friend who has a 1-year-old. James has always loved his buddy and up until a few weeks ago, has always been very gentle and sweet to him. We get together multiple times a week for walks and spend time in each other's homes letting the boys play. A few weeks ago, James started to play rough with his buddy. He would continually try to push him down or knock him over. At first, I thought he might be mimicking football since that is a big part of our lives. Of course, he was disciplined and firmly talked to after each offense. I continually tried to help him understand that he was hurting his buddy and that pushing him was not OK. At home, he would come to me and say, "I push buddy.", and we would then talk about how that was not OK and that his buddy would be sad if he pushed him. This buddy is the only child he has ever acted this way with, and though we have worked and worked on this issue, it continues to be a big problem. When we spent time with these friends this weekend, it was almost constant and by the end of our time together I was exhausted emotionally from continually dealing with it. My friend and I talked about what may be causing the problem and honestly, my heart broke that this had become something that dominates our time together. I held back tears as I told my friend that I was out of ideas and that I don't know what else to do, but remain consistent in disciplining him. I honestly felt like I was totally failing in this area of motherhood. I got James into the car and was crying before I left their driveway.
As I drove home, thinking about my beautiful child and wondering why he was choosing to be so disobedient, I was overcome by the realization that this must be, in a small way, how God feels when I continually disobey Him; when He gently calls me back to Himself, lovingly disciplines me and I turn around and continue in my sin, rejecting His loving guidance. My cries turned into sobs as I was overcome by conviction of my own rebellion as a child of God. James fell asleep on the way home and I sat in my parked car and asked for forgiveness for my continual rebellion against my Heavenly Father. I cried out for wisdom as a parent in dealing with this situation knowing that God fully understands what I'm feeling. I poured out my broken heart to the Lord. I'm still at a loss for how to "fix" this problem. I am still broken-hearted over it, but I am so thankful that God used this struggle to help me understand the way my sin and rebellion hurts Him, and to gain a new perspective that I would have never been able to see so clearly otherwise. I am so thankful to be His child.
Hebrews 12:6-11 - 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
If you have questions about faith in Christ, feel free to go to this link and find out more about what God says about being a good person and how we can accept His gift of salvation. http://www.areyouagoodperson.org/
Also, check out this link for answers to some questions: http://www.wayofthemaster.com/faq.shtml
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